Already planning ahead

Already got Jess's birthday gift planned out, three months in advanced.





I think she will get a lot of use from it.

My kind of town ...

In response to a Bill Simmon's column in which he ranks his favorite and least favorite Vegas casinos, we decided in anticipation of our trip, we would share our feelings on them as well. There are definitely a few we don't like and one in particular that we just love.


The Mirage - Hands down our favorite casino. The waitresses are quick with the drinks, the slots are loose and the buffet is fabulous. It's also home to the Beatles LOVE Cirque du Soleil show (which I still want to see badly). Who can compete with a volcano that erupts on the hour and Siegfried and Roy's tigers?

Bellagio - Not only is it the site of an entertaining movie (Ocean's 11), but the fountains are one of the best parts of Vegas. It was also the site of my dad's 250 craps tear back on my 21st (Katy). Word on the street is that it is the hotel where both Jamie McMurray and Kasey Kahne reside during race weeks at Las Vegas Motor Speedway, but that has no bearing on our opinion of course ...

Caesars - It is quite intimidating with it's ornate fountains and gardens outside. It's HUGE. Haven't really done any major gambling here other than slots, but the reason Caesars is good is simple - their free drinks are quite delicious and the glasses they are served in are much more elegant than at other casinos. However, the libations may be tasty, but this is also the Vegas home of Bobby Flay's MESA grill. I hate Bobby Flay. Go make something out of blue corn.

TI (aka Treasure Island) - TI will always hold a special place in Katy's heart as the first place in Vegas she ever played blackjack. Oh the memories. The dealer was cute. The other players were nice. All in all, it was good times. The main downside of TI is that its once famed pirate show is now a skankfest. Boo skanks.

MGM - MGM should stand for MASSIVE GIANT MASSIVE. If you can't tell, it's huge. It has a full on stadium-esque auditorium where the Billboard Awards are held every year for crying out loud. I like MGM because it houses the two restaurants where the season one finale of Top Chef took place (Go Harold!). They have a very nice and spacious sports book and a lion habitat. Live animals are always cool.

The Venetian - We got lost in the Venetian last spring break. No lie. I think we ended up ducking out some side entrance that required us to make our way thru valet parking to make our way back to the strip. The outside with the gondolas and the canal is very nice, especially at night when it is all lit up. Most delicious noodle restaurant as well.

The Flamingo - First of all, bad idea to have the likeness of Toni Braxton all up on the side of your building. Gag. However, last year, as Take Me Home Tonight was blasting over the speaker, there was Adrian, the stick man at a craps game we were watching. Oh it was magical. We had a moment. So the Flamingo will always have a place in my heart. And my grandparent's timeshare is at the Hilton right behind the Flamingo so it was pretty much like I have stayed there the past two years.

Ballys - This is where we are staying this year and it should be quite exciting. Other than souvenir shopping, we didn't spend a lot of time there last year. I ate at a yummy Italian place there while on my 21st birthday trip so I am in favor.

New York, New York - Way too touristy. The replica of the city is pretty cool, but I get kinda claustrophic inside because there are low ceilings and I don't like that.

Paris - Jess really likes the little stirrers in the free drinks. That is very important. (They're shaped like the Eiffel Tower. Very classy.)

O'Sheas - OK so here's the thing about O'Sheas. They always have cheap tables, but their 5 dollar blackjack is weird. And it smells. And their drink service is slow.

Casino Royale - Dollar Margaritas. Enough said.

Harrah's - The comedy show we went to last year was at Harrah's, that is all I can really remember. Oh, and on my 21st, me and JK went to the Carnival Bar at Harrah's and the guy who won the world bartending championship on Food Network made me my 10 dollar drink. Holla.

Bill's Gambling Hall - Formerly Ivory Coast. Also smelly like O'Shea's. But it will always hold memories for me cuz it was where I won at craps for the first time. Apparently, they have a cheap prime rib special too. Always a plus.

P.S. Congrats to former Mid-Week Man Candy Carl Edwards for his victory in the crazy rain-delayed Auto Club 500. I love his backflips.

TWO DAYS TIL VEGAS!!!!!!!!

Making Mitt Sad

skitchkd (4:57:02 PM): do you want to go to the atomic testing museum?

skitchkd (4:57:31 PM): or the old las vegas mormon fort?

ffiore957 (4:58:00 PM): no

skitchkd (4:58:10 PM): but it would make mitt romney happy

ffiore957 (4:58:42 PM): haha i'm sure it would

ffiore957 (4:58:53 PM): but i think everything else we do in vegas would make him sad

Too...much...studying

skitchkd (8:29:54 PM): i wanted to go to the paris buffett cuz maybe they'd have crepes. and i could quote talledega nights

skitchkd (8:29:57 PM): i...love...crepes

ffiore957 (8:30:31 PM): you are weird

Current events

ffiore957 (5:01:36 PM): i bet mitt romney is really mad he dropped out of the race now
skitchkd (5:01:55 PM): haha i know
skitchkd (5:01:57 PM): cuz mccain is a skank
ffiore957 (5:02:00 PM): haha yes
ffiore957 (5:02:07 PM): no wonder he has 7 kids

The earth shakes

So in light of recent events ... I've decided everyone should know what to do in the event of an emergency, particularly one that involves the ground shaking. There would be a pretty significant earthquake in Nevada less than a week before our big trip. But thanks to the nice people at FEMA, we will all be versed in safety protocol.

If indoors

• DROP to the ground; take COVER by getting under a sturdy table or other piece of furniture; and HOLD ON on until the shaking stops. If there isn’t a table or desk near you, cover your face and head with your arms and crouch in an inside corner of the building.
• Stay away from glass, windows, outside doors and walls, and anything that could fall, such as lighting fixtures or furniture.
• Stay in bed if you are there when the earthquake strikes. Hold on and protect your head with a pillow, unless you are under a heavy light fixture that could fall. In that case, move to the nearest safe place.
• Use a doorway for shelter only if it is in close proximity to you and if you know it is a strongly supported, loadbearing doorway.
• Stay inside until shaking stops and it is safe to go outside. Research has shown that most injuries occur when people inside buildings attempt to move to a different location inside the building or try to leave.
• Be aware that the electricity may go out or the sprinkler systems or fire alarms may turn on.
• DO NOT use the elevators.

If outdoors

• Stay there.
• Move away from buildings, streetlights, and utility wires.
• Once in the open, stay there until the shaking stops. The greatest danger exists directly outside buildings, at exits, and alongside exterior walls. Many of the 120 fatalities from the 1933 Long Beach earthquake occurred when people ran outside of buildings only to be killed by falling debris from collapsing walls. Ground movement during an earthquake is seldom the direct cause of death or injury. Most earthquake-related casualties result from collapsing walls, flying glass, and falling objects.

If in a moving vehicle

• Stop as quickly as safety permits and stay in the vehicle. Avoid stopping near or under buildings, trees, overpasses, and utility wires.
• Proceed cautiously once the earthquake has stopped. Avoid roads, bridges, or ramps that might have been damaged by the earthquake.

If trapped under debris

• Do not light a match.
• Do not move about or kick up dust.
• Cover your mouth with a handkerchief or clothing.
• Tap on a pipe or wall so rescuers can locate you. Use a whistle if one is available. Shout only as a last resort. Shouting can cause you to inhale dangerous amounts of dust.

No earthquake or casino fire can keep me from Vegas, so no worries.

Vegas countdown: 6 days

Andrae ...

ffiore957 (9:01:51 PM): AWESOME
skitchkd (9:02:08 PM): did you really for that to be in all caps?
ffiore957 (9:02:13 PM): yes
ffiore957 (9:02:17 PM): it's that awesome

Mid-Week Man Candy

It's that time of the week again ... when everyone needs a little pick me up. We don't share the same taste in men and there are very few men we agree on and but here is one of them.


So here's to you Mr. Papelbon. You may pitch for the Crap Sox (Katy's opinion only, of course) but you sure look good doing it. No one can dance a jig quite like you can and no one can spray victory champagne in a jock strap like you either.

Vegas countdown: 7 days

High five

OK, so fair warning. I, Katy, have to take the GRE this Saturday. I have also not done an immense amount of studying so I will be spending most of my downtime at work reading flashcards and studying high school level math formulas and may not be posting too much fun and exciting stuff. So for giggles on Monday evening ...



Vegas countdown: 8 days

If you don't chew Big Red...

Apologies for the lack of post yesterday. Saturday had crazy written all over it. Anyways ... HAPPY DAYTONA 500! NASCAR, the sport that kicks off its season with the biggest event of year, commences today and I think we are both super stoked for it. In honor of the 50th running of the Daytona 500, we decided to pick 5 of our favorite NASCAR commercials and share them with you.

In random order...

Michael Waltrip may no longer be one of the strongest competitors in NASCAR, but he makes some of the funniest commercials. I couldn't find the one where he was teaching little kids about auto parts, so this one will just have to do.




The Gillette Young Guns are made up of most of my favorite drivers. If you didn't see the show where they taught D-list celebrities how to drive racecars, than you really missed out. I was stoked when Kasey was added as a Young Gun last year, and this was his highly anticipated debut.

I can't embed it (crazy YouTube bitches) but just click away and enjoy.

My only issue with our next submission is the appearance of Jeff Gordon, but Elliot Sadler's redneck adorableness almost makes up for it. Rabbit Release.



Since moving to Virginia, I have a tendency to only frequent Sunoco gas stations. I mean, its the official fuel of NASCAR and I like to show my support whereever I can. Plus, I like to go fast so I feel like using the same fuel as them kinda equates me with the drivers. The commercials for Sunoco are some of the best, but I think it's quite apparent why I enjoy this particular one so much.



There is no disputing (at least in our opinion) that this was the best commercial (included non-NASCAR ones) in the year 2007. I will let it do the talking.



Boogity, boogity, boogity ... let's go racing.

Vegas Countdown: 10 days!

Working hard for the money

Thanks a million to Clarity Media Group (owns Katy's paper) and Morris (owns Jess's paper) for allowing messaging devices on their employees computers.

skitchkd: i sometimes think i am bipolar
Jess: i doubt it
Jess: you're just weird

skitchkd: hey skanky
skitchkd: are you there? and ignoring me?
skitchkd: cuz if you are you are making me sad
skitchkd: sad in the loins
Jess: when do i ever ignore you?
skitchkd: never
skitchkd: which excites me
Jess: exactly

skitchkd: i am going now
skitchkd: caps game
skitchkd: woo
Jess: woo
skitchkd: but i am coming home afterwards
Jess: i'm so jealous
skitchkd: so we can chat more about my insanity
Jess: haha that's my favorite topic

skitchkd: where did you go?
Jess: mailroom
skitchkd: so that's code for sex right?
Jess: no, if i were having office sex, it would be in the stairwell
skitchkd: ooo, a wise choice
Jess: it would echo throughout the whole building, but i think it's worth it

skitchkd: i am so ashamed...i like a miley cyrus song
Jess: you are lame
Jess: we are not friends

Such is life.

Vegas Countdown: 11 days

I want to be on you

Now of course we like NASCAR for the thrill of competition and the strategy behind it all, but there are also a bunch of very attractive reasons to tune in to the races. After some consideration, we came to the conclusion that Roush Fenway Racing is by far the most attractive team in NASCAR. It's not even close.



Oh yea baby.

The rite of spring

Through all the V-Day mess, I don't think we adequately recognized the start of spring training. Ah baseball. 8 months of Buster Olney and the satanic Steve Phillips. Gotta love it.

It is fairly widely known that we don't exactly agree when it comes to who we root for and I am still trying to erase the awful memories of last season. Oh the agony.

But there is humor in it all.



Let the games begin.

Your hair is everywhere

According to my Peanuts "Love Is..." 2008 wall calendar, love is having a special song. And wouldn't you know it, Katy and I actually do have a special song.

I don't have to cut the hair out of my vacuum cleaner with scissors anymore, but whenever I hear this song (which is never, because I actually hate it), I think of the magical two years we lived together.

Valentine Schmalentine

Oh St. Valentine. Why do you taunt us so? As the typical singletons that we are, we decided to give our top reasons why V-Day should be called Lame Day.

* Grocery store takeover
K: I went to the store today to pick up some Coke Zero (holla) and a trip that would have normally taken me 10 minutes took me 25 because Giant had two checkouts open and they were mainly dominated by people who had their arms full of chocolates and flower arrangements. Seriously people?
J: Wal-Mart puts their Valentine's candy right in the middle of the food section. I was in the salad dressing aisle, and I couldn't get by because of all the people looking at chocolates. There was a kid who picked out a velvety heart-shaped box, and this is the exchange I heard.
MOM: Put that back, it's too big.
KID: But it's soft.
MOM: That's not the kind of thing you buy for your teacher. That's the kind of thing you buy for your mom.

* Sappy jewelry commercials
K: I don't really care if Zach gave you the same music box you had as a little girl and SURPRISE slipped a necklace/pair of earrings/ring in there to wow you. Vomit.
J: I have no interest in jewelry, so these commercials are a waste of my time. If someone got me jewelry for Valentine's Day, I'd be mad. I would be more mad if someone sent a barbershop quartet to sing to me at work, like in a story we ran in today's paper. I would call and break up with them in the middle of the song.

*Love notes and stories in newsprint
K: Is it really necessary to buy an ad in the paper to tell someone you love them? Is it necessary for me to have to see them while I'm designing? No.
J: We had a big story about the top 3 places in town to kiss. #1 was Palo Duro Canyon, which I can accept. #2 was at the airport and #3 was on an airplane. Clearly this is not a romantic town.

*Red is sacred
K: Red is my favorite color. I bleed red and black. Valentine's Day makes me sick of red and that isn't a good thing.
J: Actually, my favorite color is blue.

Through all the bad that is Valentine's Day ... there is one shining moment. And it comes in the form of the best commercial. Ever.



Vegas Countdown: 12 days

Just another day in the life

skitchkd (10:36:45 PM): so what are you doing?

ffiore957 (10:36:51 PM): right now?

skitchkd (10:37:05 PM): sure

ffiore957 (10:37:11 PM): looking at pictures of cats

skitchkd (10:37:47 PM): i am judging you

ffiore957 (10:37:55 PM): you would

ffiore957 (10:37:59 PM): you don't get it

CONSTITUTION!

So if you haven't seen the popular YouTube video, My New Haircut, than you are definitely missing out. It makes HGH and the work "skank" hilarious. Yesterday at work, I happened to stumble upon the Ron Paul version of "My New Haircut" and it almost made me rethink who I cast my ballot for yesterday in the Potomac Primary.



DISCLAIMER: Jess does not find this funny. I am still not sure why.

In the beginning...

skitchkd (4:56:38 PM): we should start a blog
ffiore957 (4:57:03 PM): ok
skitchkd (4:57:12 PM): people would read it
skitchkd (4:57:14 PM): cuz we are awesome
ffiore957 (4:57:55 PM): yeah we are
ffiore957 (4:58:07 PM): even if they didn't read it, we would get a kick out of it

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how our baby was conceived ... an AIM conversation by two BFFs who are about 1600 miles apart. The bottom line is that we find ourselves pretty amusing and we think that is a good enough reason to publish all the lame and ridiculous things we often talk about together. There really won't be any rhyme or reason to what is written here. It might be about sports, current events, television, etc, but all we can hope is it might induce some sort of chuckle.

Mid-week man candy

Why not kick off our blog in high style.

Here's to you, Carl Edwards. One of the few men me and Ms. McClean can agree with, we can't wait to see your fine back flippin' self get back on the track this weekend. We don't care who you try to punch (minus Kasey and Jamie) as long as you look good doing it.

Vegas countdown: 13 days