Happy Birthday, Ms. McClean

So today, we celebrate the birth of Ms. Jessica McClean. I was looking back on the post that Jess posted on my birthday and it's going to be hard to follow up. A video of Michael Owen AND some hot Kyle Busch action? Phew, talk about pressure. I scoured YouTube far and wide trying to find an appropriate video to post. I was thinking maybe Josh Beckett pitching or Jamie McMurray racing, but then felt that why not honor another birthday celebrator today? Someone who I don't particularly like, but he is always available for a good chuckle.



I actually wanted to post this a few days ago, but withheld those desires until today because this is a very special occasion.

Now time for a montage of everything the birthday girl likes.



Fat pitchers ... haha jk, Josh Beckett.



Cats.



Apples.



And Orange County Choppers slot machines (especially those at the Mirage).

So Happy Birthday, BFF.

P.S. On a side note, it's pretty official that McCluca is having the best week ever. Just felt like sharing.

Gettin' jobs

ffiore957 (4:19:06 PM): oh, btw i listed you as a reference
ffiore957 (4:19:10 PM): she might call you today
skitchkd (4:19:37 PM): haha why am i your reference?
ffiore957 (4:20:01 PM): because you worked with me
ffiore957 (4:20:06 PM): and because you like me
skitchkd (4:20:06 PM): true
skitchkd (4:20:08 PM): and we're lovers
ffiore957 (4:23:06 PM): yes
ffiore957 (4:23:10 PM): you might not want to mention that

Mid-week Man Candy

Yeah, I know I'm late again. Give me a break, I was stuck at Dallas-Fort Worth airport again. It's the worst airport in the world.

So Katy has graciously allowed me to do MWMC this week in honor of my birthday. She wanted me to make it abundantly clear that although she approved this post, the opinions expressed in it do not reflect her own feelings. In fact, if you take the exact opposite of everything I say, you'll probably get pretty close to the way Katy feels about...



Mr. Josh Beckett

Yes, the man who is fat like when you eat candy has finally become Man Candy. There's nothing hotter than a starting pitcher, in my opinion, particularly the ace starting pitcher from the greatest team in the world. I love that he's a giant hick who always carries a can of tobacco in his back pocket and shoots animals for fun, and I love that he often drops the f-bomb on live television. I even find his inability to spell big words endearing. In other words, I can overlook pretty much anything because he's a really good pitcher. Is he actually hot? Pictures of him with the Marlins are deceptive because he looks like a child. I guess I won't know for sure until the Sox refuse to pay for a contract extension and he defects to the Yankees. But until that day, I will love him unconditionally.

Note: I took a really long time to choose the picture for this post.
ffiore957: i can't find a good enough picture for mwmc
skitchkd: did you look on ap and getty?
ffiore957: no
skitchkd: well i mean no pic can look good when you're fat and stuff
ffiore957: i knew you would say that
skitchkd: hahahaha

Oh, and this is just the best picture ever. It has everything I love.

Hardy har har

Text message convo
Katy: i found a funny video of manny being beaned in the head on youtube
Jess: i don't find that funny

No. Words. Needed.

Kasey won the Coca Cola 600. Yes sir, he did. Nothing else needs to be said. One of these two bloggers is quite happy.

The cutest row one ever is having issues

ffiore957 (6:21:38 PM): what happened to kyle?
skitchkd (6:21:51 PM): i have no idea
skitchkd (6:21:54 PM): what happened to kasey?
ffiore957 (6:22:03 PM): haha i didn't even notice
ffiore957 (6:22:09 PM): i'm used to not seeing him up front
skitchkd (6:22:21 PM): OUCH
skitchkd (6:22:22 PM): i hate you
ffiore957 (6:22:29 PM): i'm loling
ffiore957 (6:22:39 PM): that was funny

Mid-week Man Candy

Yea, so my bad. I got caught up in all the excitement that was Wednesday and forgot to post a MWMC. No worries. Oogling can be postponed for one short day. I decided to disregard the list and we had discussed because I just got caught up in the moment. And while the cat's away (aka Jess in Atlanta) the mouse will play ... She should just be happy that it is not ANOTHER hot pic of Matt Ryan.



Here's to you Mike Massaro, aka the bestest NASCAR reporter in the land. I love the way you walk around pit road in your little ESPN firesuit and interview the drivers with the adorableness of a child. I can't wait for Pocono in a few weeks where I can try and spot you from the grandstand and zoom in really close with my camera and take a picture of you. Yes, I am that cool.

Money in the bank

Since Jess is in Atlanta, I can run a muck. It's been awhile since I posted about Matt Ryan. For your viewing pleasure.

Quarterback Matt Ryan, the No. 3 overall draft pick, signed a six-year contract with the Falcons Tuesday.

The deal is reportedly worth $72 million with $34.75 million in guaranteed money. Many of the top picks from 2007 signed five- or-six- deals, including No. 3 pick Joe Thomas (Cleveland, five-years, $43 million).

The team has announced an 8 p.m. press conference with Ryan.

The Boston College product, who is participating in offseason workouts at team headquarters, came to terms roughly three weeks after being drafted by Atlanta, further highlighting the change that is taking place with the new leadership at Flowery Branch.

The Falcons typically haven't signed their top pick until just before the start of training camp in the late summer — if that soon.

New general manager Thomas Dimitroff, who replaced Rich McKay, now the team president, broke from that pattern to make sure the player the franchise hopes will lead it to a new era, won't miss any time that could delay his maturation.

Ryan is the second top-three draft pick to reach contract terms. Michigan tackle Jake Long agreed to a five-year, $57.5 million contract before he was officially selected first overall by Miami.

With Ryan now in the fold, the only remaining question regarding him will be when he will be in the pocket.

Ryan spent minicamp two weeks ago working behind starter Chris Redman and backup Joey Harrington. D.J. Shockley was limited because he is recovering from knee surgery.

Coach Mike Smith has not ruled out Ryan starting from Day 1. How Ryan performs in training camp and preseason likely will factor into the decision. Helping Ryan's cause is that he won't miss any practices in a contract dispute, allowing him to be on relatively equal footing with the other quarterbacks on the team.

Late night laughs

For some reason, I find myself in my room, sitting on the floor with the lights turned out and the TV on mute, looking at stuff on YouTube. Yea, I know. You are way jealous of how cool I am. It's the best way to deal with the whole Yankees not being very good thing.





And this is almost as good as the suburban white boys doing Soulja Boy. I said almost.

This Bud's for you!

OK, so it finally happened. KASEY KAHNE WON A RACE! Yes, it was not a race that counted, but it was a race worth 1 million bucks and any sort of Kasey Kahne in Victory Lane is pretty much all I ever wanted and more. I have the race Tivo'd if anyone cares to watch it with me ...

Now on to a little bit deeper part of McCluca. A moment of Zen if you will. I love the new Coldplay song "Viva La Vida." I actually just love Coldplay in general. Songs like "Fix You" and "The Scientist" are probably in my list of top songs ever. I've already pre-ordered their new CD (and you should too). But I digress. Viva la vida loosing translated means "Live life" and I think that that is a great message. I returned from my trip to ATL with a new outlook on life and this Coldplay song is pretty much the perfect compliment to that. All that we can ever do is live life and just enjoy it while we are doing it. No matter what happens. And that, is all that crazy nonsense.



Here's is a little something for your lol-ing pleasure.

You wanted me to post more...

I watched this video 5 times in a row last night, then 2 more times later, then maybe 6 more times today. It's hypnotic. I wouldn't even believe it was Manny if he didn't high five that guy in the middle.



Greatest baseball player ever. I made a really stupid, half-asleep decision last night, but I think the blog is the perfect place to reveal it.

If Manny hits his 500th career home run on our birthday, I will quit my job and move to Boston.

I am not kidding, I would totally do that.

Speaking of birthdays and Boston...



This is probably the nicest post either of these great men will ever get on this blog. Happy 28th birthday, Josh Beckett. Only 28 and he's already won 2 World Series and the World Series MVP (but not the 2007 AL Cy Young, despite what MLB.com claims). I wanted to make him MWMC this week, but apparently Katy doesn't love him as much as I do. Her response (paraphrased because I was laughing too hard to write it down): "The only way he could be man candy is because he's fat like when you eat a lot of candy."

You all just made that up

Sports Night is fantastic. This is in honor of my first MLS game being a little more than a week away.



I <3 Dan Rydell.

Mid Week Man Candy

This week I have another two-for-one special -- partially because I'm late posting this and partially because we're running out of people we both find attractive.
We're coming to the end of the 2007-08 TV season, which, thanks to the writers strike, was pretty lame overall. It led to the demise of some shows that we loved (RIP "Notes from the Underbelly") and caused others to just plain suck (I blame the strike for the crappiness that was "Heroes"). But there were two new shows, and their adorable lead actors, that redeemed the season.



Of course we start with "Chuck," for which Katy has already professed her love. Every picture I saw of Zachary Levi made me say "aww" out loud. He's adorably nerdy. Look at this picture. He thinks he's such a badass.



And then we have "Pushing Daisies" and the equally adorable Lee Pace (actually I like him a lot more, but I'm trying to be fair and balanced here). Only 9 episodes were finished before the strike, but they were all wonderful. I actually don't really remember what happened, but I know he's cute and he's a piemaker and that's all I really care about.

So there you go. Now we wait not-so-patiently for the fall season to see what Chuck is going to do about the thing that happened and find out how Ned and the girl Chuck will overcome whatever was wrong with them. Strikes really ruin everything for people like me who have bad memories.

Here comes the brides

skitchkd: in your eyes we should be planning a wedding
ffiore957: i am planning a wedding
skitchkd: oh are you now?
ffiore957: haha yes
ffiore957: i guess i should have told you about it
skitchkd: haha yea
skitchkd: is there anything i should be doing?
ffiore957: no, i have it under control
skitchkd: so i am playing the role of the uninvolved groom?
ffiore957: haha i guess so

Oh and P.S. there will be no MWMC until Jess puts it up. So blame her.

Not safe for kids

Thanks, Els, for making me laugh so hard, my abs now ache.

More evidence that Paps is a genius

Jonathan Papelbon likes good things. Here he is teaching Hideki Okajima how to play craps (with the aid of his trusty translator). I know if I were learning English, I would put casino lingo right at the top of my list of useful phrases. Oh, Paps. We are always on the same wavelength.



And because I am obsessed with everything Will Leitch of Deadspin writes (a brief note on his novel "Catch" - it's OK), here is his reaction:
"We always forget how rough life must be for a baseball player's translator. You must have to translate some seriously stupid shit."

Coming soon

Just be prepared because McCluca is about to launch even more awesomeness. Like awesomeness you cannot even comprehend. OK, maybe we're playing it up a little bit, but we think it's pretty sweet.

ffiore957: does it have to be timely?
SkitchKD: i mean i think that'd make it better
SkitchKD: like this week it could be mariah carey for marrying a 12 year old
ffiore957: ok
SkitchKD: versus richie sexson for starting the brawl or something to that extent
SkitchKD: or barbara walters for being a saucy minx
ffiore957: i think mariah carey wins that one
SkitchKD: haha i know
SkitchKD: hands down
ffiore957: i like richie sexson
SkitchKD: if i married every guy who talked to me for two months i'd be a polygamist
ffiore957: did you see manny hit another hr today?
SkitchKD: haha yea he's quite skanky too
ffiore957: haha that's what reminded me
SkitchKD: you like read my mind

Backhanded compliment?

skitchkd (11:53:20 PM): haha i mean how skanky can i really even be?
ffiore957 (11:53:35 PM): oh, you're pretty skanky
skitchkd (11:53:47 PM): i take offense to that
ffiore957 (11:54:40 PM): it's a compliment
skitchkd (11:54:55 PM): oh, well than thanks
ffiore957 (11:55:01 PM): haha you're welcome

I'm Ron Burgundy?

Courtesy of Els

Mid-week Man Candy ... one day late

So SOMEONE was quite busy yesterday with the whole getting ready for Atlanta thing so this is slightly delayed, but we are going to double your pleasure.



Oh Josh Charles and Peter Krause aka Dan Rydell and Casey McCall from one of the best shows ever, Sports Night. They are a dreamy, dreamteam of hotness and awesomeness who have fantastic comedic timing and are just plain awesome. While Peter has had some success with DirtySexyMoney and Six Feet Under, Josh, eh not so much. We know we would watch a Josh Charles show and it would be awesome. So bravo boys.

Casey: It's a vicious circle.
Dan: Yep. Just keeps going around and around.
Casey: Never stops.
Dan: That's what makes it vicious.
Casey: And a circle.

Wedding bells??

ffiore957 (8:44:47 PM): would you come to my wedding if i married tim tebow?
skitchkd (8:44:53 PM): of course
skitchkd (8:44:58 PM): well
skitchkd (8:45:02 PM): i'd have to think about it
skitchkd (8:45:06 PM): would i be a bridesmaid?
ffiore957 (8:45:27 PM): yes
skitchkd (8:45:55 PM): would the dresses be orange or blue?
ffiore957 (8:46:10 PM): definitely not orange
skitchkd (8:48:07 PM): what shade of blue?
ffiore957 (8:48:35 PM): i don't know if they would be blue, but i can't rule that out
skitchkd (8:49:18 PM): well i would come
skitchkd (8:49:19 PM): for you
skitchkd (8:49:30 PM): and maybe he'll bring some hot football player friends
skitchkd (8:49:32 PM): who aren't from florida
ffiore957 (8:50:07 PM): well it would be after he gets drafted, so they'd be nfl friends
skitchkd (8:50:19 PM): matt ryan?
skitchkd (8:50:24 PM): he'd be friends with matt ryan right?
ffiore957 (8:50:40 PM): i'm sure he would, but the falcons wouldn't draft him
skitchkd (8:51:20 PM): i'm aware
skitchkd (8:51:26 PM): cuz matt ryan is going to be too awesome
ffiore957 (8:51:34 PM): yes he is
skitchkd (8:51:40 PM): and tim tebow sucks
ffiore957 (8:52:16 PM): you're just jealous
skitchkd (8:53:07 PM): i'm like the antithesis of jealous
skitchkd (8:53:11 PM): whichever that may be
ffiore957 (8:53:21 PM): haha i don't know if such a thing exists
ffiore957 (8:53:25 PM): i think you just invented it
skitchkd (8:53:55 PM): tim tebow inspires me to do great things against him
ffiore957 (8:54:24 PM): it's like you hate everything i love
skitchkd (8:56:09 PM): hardly
skitchkd (8:56:15 PM): just tim tebow and the red sox
skitchkd (8:56:19 PM): and you should hate tim tebow
skitchkd (8:56:22 PM): like a good uga grad
ffiore957 (8:56:26 PM): i know i should, but i can't
skitchkd (8:56:35 PM): vomit

True luv

skitchkd: ok i am going to go to sleep now
fiore957: ok fine
skitchkd: hey i'm tired
skitchkd: and slightly ill
skitchkd: ps josh beckett is lame
skitchkd: night!
fiore957: no! you can't just say something like that and leave
fiore957: i hate you
fiore957: not really, i hope you feel better tomorrow

Medicine head

I (Katy) have been in bed most of the day on cold meds catching up on Tivo. But I had to urge to post something because it's what I do. I watched an episode of Chuck that had been on my Tivo since January and it just made me realize how Chuck Bartowski is simply amazing.



Such a nerdy, bad ass.

This week's Cute With Chris = Priceless.



Goddamn my spinning head



Pretty much awesome. OK, time for more drugs.

Trying to make "fetch" happen

As me and Ms. McClean were discussing AIM lingo for "lol'ing just a little" (for those who are concerned, please use "ljal" if you don't want to type it all out ... I'm sure no one will remember that ... even Jess, who wanted it in the first place), we remembered that junior year of high school, we started to come up with a Slangtionary, a Slangifesto if you will. It is a collection of words and phrases and Jess and myself created and tried to integrate in to everyday language. None of them really took off, but we wanted to share some anyways.

China Boat - Next to the good ol' randb, there used to be a a Chinese Food Restaurant called China Boat (never ate there, was said to carry diseases. It no longer exists). Anyway, after a series of crazy Katy dreams and some innuendo filled conversations, we decided to use China Boat as a way to insinuate sexual encounters. Here is an example of it: "Yea, I'd like to take Matt Ryan behind China Boat." See? Nice right? Very similar in usage to "selling newspapers" which was inspired by a Mike Mussina-China Boat dream.

-ologist - Many people are experts in a lot of stuff. Aynytime in which someone really knows what they are talking about, they become a whatever-ologist. i.e. Katy might be a Matt Ryan-ologist.

Something McSomething - We both really like giving nicknames to people, ones that we never share with them that might be considered slightly mean or inappropriate. So be it. For example, a certain individual who lived across the hall from us may have been slightly overweight and may have enjoyed blasting fly jams in his motor vehicle whenever he came home so he may or may not have been known as Fatty McLoud. We know we are not the originators of this nickname developing system, but we are pretty good at it.

Buck Nutty - I can barely even type this without laughing a little. (ljal). We did not come up with this. I do not think that anyone other than the individual that originated this (who will remain nameless but we all know who it is) could have come up with such a gem. Buck Nutty pretty much means that something is crazy, outta control, etc. i.e. "That play in the fifth inning was really buck nutty." Or "Wow those were some buck nutty times at Taco Stand last night." I wish I could use it in everyday conversation but I'm pretty sure people would just look at me like I'm a crazy person.

So there are just a few examples of the DeLuca-McClean genius at work. There is no method to our madness. We just are the way we are. If you have any slang you would like to ad to our illustrious collection, please let one of us know.